Along side of seeing doctors and taking medications, hubby and I were doing every puja and visiting every temple we could. We left no stone unturned. We have been on many pilgrimages during the last 6 years. We have consulted astrologers innumerable times. Have lost count on the number of temple visits.

No astrologer gave us a positive reply. Leave it to nature, said one. Your Mars in 5th is causing the obstruction to progeny, you must please Lord Subrahmanya. You have pitru dosha, you must propitiate your forefathers through daan and dakshina. Your Jupiter in 8th causes everything to delay but in the end it will work out fine.

We did everything every well wisher ever said. By now we were running out of time, energy and money. Now that I was at home, I had more time to worry. I think I am having depression for some years now. I have lost interest in everything. I cry often. Hubby’s expectation have increased with regards to my cooking and housekeeping. What do you do all day he asks. While I couldn’t care less for all of it. I was just doing the bare minimum and trying to retain my sanity.

The road to fertility looked like a long and uphill one.


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